Spotting And Stopping Bullying In School

Spotting And Stopping Bullying In School in can be challenging for a parent or carer. There can be telltale signs and symptoms but often they may look like normal developmental issues dependent on the age of the child involved. This blog was inspired by a young woman who contacted our service via our Facebook page asking […]

Achieving And Maintaining Self Esteem

Achieving And Maintaining Self Esteem Achieving and maintaining self esteem means you will feel more capable, more worthy of success and loving relationships. Self esteem is a positive sense of self, a belief of being able to cope with life’s challenges. It involves developing a positive attitude to self and to the world around us. […]

Dealing With Panic Attacks And Fear

Dealing With Panic Attacks And Fear It’s important in Dealing With Panic Attacks And Fear to understand what they are. Typical symptoms include: Fast beating heart Sweating uncontrollably Difficulty in getting breath Sense of impending doom or feeling your might be dying Sometimes physical pain in the arm resembling heart attack symptoms Racing thoughts These […]

Protecting Kids From Depression

Protecting kids from depression is a well evidenced area of psychotherapy.   The video is aimed at the teenagers you care for but the lessons work for all kids and for adults too! Protecting kids from depression involves certain key tasks Role modelling good emotional and social skills Supporting positive peer networks for your kids […]

Choosing Better Dates

Choosing Better Dates Choosing better dates is mostly about looking at our own (unconscious) relationship choices. Unconscious or habitual choices are the basis on which the brain works. Anything you do regularly becomes a habit, wired into our brains. Relationship choices are the same. These habits can be formed in childhood through family conflict, or […]

Improving Relationship Connection

Improving relationship connection is key to long term healthy love.     If the connection between you and your intimate partner has broken then contempt may set in. Contempt is a key indicator of relationship breakdown and divorce. Re-establishing connection is crucial and one way of doing that is to apply HEAL. Hear: Relearn to […]

Helping Children Communicate Emotions

Helping children communicate emotions is crucial for their development. Significant problems can happen when kids can’t share what they are feeling appropriately. They can act out on feelings of anger, hurt or even happiness in ways that are difficult to manage. So their behaviour will improve. Helping children communicate emotions has long term benefits for […]

How To Get Self Esteem

How To Get Self Esteem is a crucial skill in life. Self esteem is generated from estimable actions. From developing behaviours that are personally challenging, and represent our authentic selves. With self esteem your actions in the world and your relationships feel more genuine. People make better choices with self esteem and also accept mistakes. […]

Do I Have Codependency?

  Codependency? Do I have codependency? is a question many people ask us in the psychotherapy service. It’s often a label applied to anyone in a difficult or dysfunctional relationship. That’s not the case. As with other chronic relationship and mental health issues it’s more than a single event. Codependency is not a list of […]

Healthy Shame, Guilt And Remorse

Healthy shame, guilt and remorse exist. Where we have or are about to behave in ways that would cause damage to our relationships to others or ourselves. The feelings help stop our behaviour or to encourage us to make amends. Toxic shame happens where others manipulate us to behave in ways that benefit them to our […]

Emotional Self Abuse

  Emotional self abuse is an internal commentary, or self talk. It will have negative long term effects on your self esteem and confidence. This will lead you to choose relationships and jobs and lifestyles that confirm your low self-opinion. This process confirms your ‘internal bias’. Because of this ‘confirmation bias’, we all have a […]

Self Love Versus Narcissism

Self Love Versus Narcisissim I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don’t want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop […]

Men And Therapy

  Lack of communication can drive a spike between two people wider than any physical distance ― Mark W Boyer “How initially ‘to get her in the sack’ and subsequently to avoid ‘her giving you the sack’ are not identical dilemmas faced by the male species, but they sure have a bizarre habit of being […]

Diagnosing Narcissism

  Diagnosing Narcissism The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one’s narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their […]

Overcoming Shaming Pain

  We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection […]

Why Can’t I leave My Abuser?

  You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone ― Jeanne McElvaney And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart: Your seeds shall live in my body, And […]

Communicate Your Anger!

  Staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself. You may not win every battle. However, everyone will at least know what you stood for—YOU ― Shannon L. Alder A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS I: […]

How Child Trauma Lives On In The Adult

  Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and […]