Why Can’t I leave My Abuser?

  You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so others know they aren’t alone ― Jeanne McElvaney And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart: Your seeds shall live in my body, And […]

Communicate Your Anger!

  Staying silent is like a slow growing cancer to the soul and a trait of a true coward. There is nothing intelligent about not standing up for yourself. You may not win every battle. However, everyone will at least know what you stood for—YOU ― Shannon L. Alder A BILL OF ASSERTIVE RIGHTS I: […]

How Child Trauma Lives On In The Adult

  Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and […]

ACOA – Adult Child Of Addiction

Ignorance is a lot like alcohol – the more you have of it, the less you are able to see it’s effect on you J M Bylsma The greatest lesson of relationship is to learn to love without pain. Pain is the result of unmet expectations, of entering a relationship with the need to get […]

Healing From Abusive Relationships

  Don’t judge yourself by what others did to you ― C. Kennedy, Omorphi Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile ― Jeanne McElvaney Overcoming abuse doesn’t just happen, It takes positive steps everyday. Let today be the day you start to move forward ― Assunta Harris […]

Training Event: Working with addiction: Underlying causes – Belfast, 1 March 2016

bacp : events –Working with addiction: Underlying causes – Belfast, 1 March 2016 I will be presenting at this event on ‘Codependency – releasing the inner child from pain to allow the adult to mature’ ‘Addictions to alcohol, substances and many behavioural compulsions can cause harm and distress, not only to clients but on family and […]

Trauma, Abuse And The Body

  (Trauma) is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions ― Susan Pease Banitt Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with […]

3 Ways To Let Go Of Toxic People, Places or Things

  The battle you are going through is not fueled by the words or actions of others; it is fueled by the mind that gives it importance ― Shannon L. Alder Pay no attention to toxic words. What people say is often a reflection of themselves, not you ― Christian Baloga Toxic people will pollute […]

Spotting Controlling and Bullying Strategies

  People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer – Dan Pearce If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more ― Taylor Swift Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much […]

New year New Relationship Skills

It takes two to have a fight – Roberta M. Gilbert Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike – J.K. Rowling When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are – Donald Miller

Empathy and Codependency

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us […]

Get Out Of The Blame Game

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in […]