It is also very common in situations where someone has grown up in trauma or neglect, or a person has lived in situation of interpersonal trauma for a prolonged period (domestic violence).
It’s often misunderstood as somehow blaming the ‘codependent’ for creating the behaviour of the abuser or the addict. In fact it’s not, the term describes a set of attitudes and behavior which are survival strategies in difficult and often dangerous relationships.
Some of those behaviours and attitudes may involve enabling or justifying negative behaviour in another person, but simply as a means to survive threats and control.
Seeing codependency as maladaptive relationship strategies is much closer to the truth of what it is about.
Low self esteem e.g. difficulty making decisions, judging harshly self or others
Control e.g. believe others can’t care for selves, offer advice without being asked
Compliance e.g. overly loyal, compromising values to please others
Denial e.g. difficulty identifying feelings, minimising/altering feelings
Codependency also often involves significant elements of relational trauma. You may experience trauma symptoms: anxiety, depression, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance and using substances, food, sex etc to self medicate.
For some codependency may become an addiction.
For all it will involve profound issues around intimacy, identity, assertion of self and needs.
We can help you
-Identify if you are codependent
-Overcome your codependency in therapy and link to recovery if you wish
-Overcome any anxiety or depression you have
-Overcome any trauma symptoms you have
-Overcome any addiction you have
-Develop love and intimacy in relation to self and others
-Develop assertiveness skills and healthy relationship skills in general
-Develop meditative practice