Dealing with Negativity in Changing Times + Women’s March + Election Reaction

 

There’s a lot going on in the world, too much and we’re burdened by the over stimulation of choices.

We take on burdens, often caused by the negative, fear based messages that we’re being bombarded with and wonder why we’re sick and tired and lose motivation.

So how do we cope?

The good news is you have a choice and to NOT make a choice IS a choice towards negativity.

Whenever something bad happens to us, it’s easy for us to slip into one of the following behaviors:

  • Depression. The road to depression is a slippery slope and one to constantly manage.
  • Self-victimization. “This isn’t fair!”.  “Why is this happening to me?” with references to luck or good future to follow as if you don’t have a choice in the way circumstances play out.
  • Reacting with anger. Get even, make others pay and become the vindictive judge to make all wrongs, right.
  • Self-blame. We make self-deprecating comments like “Why am I so stupid to have done that?” “Only someone like myself can make such a dumb mistake.”
  • Dejection or quitting. Loosing hope is a scary thing and carries an energy of despair to it, sadly attracting other like emotions thereby validating the problem. It’s a negative spiral and difficult to stop since you begin to question your values and overall purpose.

You can CHOOSE a positive solution.

Here are 9 easy to use tips on coping with negativity.

1. Feel Your Feelings. Release your Frustrations.
Get in touch with how crappy the whole thing feels. Acknowledge them. Validate them. And then let them go. Exercise. Call a friend. Journal. Pray. Meditate. Stay in action and work through, versus around feelings.

2. Realize you are not Alone.
No matter what you may think, you’re not alone in this. Somewhere around the world, someone else is thinking the exact same thing as you. Someone out there is feeling down and out too, wondering why she is experiencing this. Knowing it’s not just you will help you to get out of a self-victimizing mind-set.

3. Objectify the Problem.
There are only 2 things you control. The thoughts in your head and the words that you use. So, remove the feelings and look at your situation objectively and you’ll immediately feel more clear.

4. Being frustrated isn’t going to Solve Anything.
The problem will remain whether you go berserk at it or whether you think about it calmly. The former will create more problems as your agitation prevents you from making good decisions. I knew remaining frustrated was not going to help me get my 200 pages back, so I focused on what could be done instead (#6).

5. Focus on the Solution
Action will empower you and the Quality, is in the Quantity. Which means, stay in action even if it’s not perfect. Passivity is your dragon, slay it!

6. Know you Always have a Choice.
Realize no matter, you are AT choice. No, you’re not in control and there are a thousand variables to life’s up and downs of the roller coaster ride, but only YOU control your behaviors.

7. Do You Need Help?
You are NOT alone. Look left and right and you’ll see a crowd of people with the same problems as you everywhere. But…the ego wants to convince us we live in isolation and the ONLY one on the planet with our trouble. Call a friend, get into a self-help support group but surround yourself with people that are solution oriented.

8. What are you Learning?
If you look back at your last obstacle, you learned something. We learn in trials and grow in frustrations. It’s what keeps us pushing forward and reaching for things beyond our grasp to attain and become.

9. See this as an Adventure.
That’s right, a straight up adventure. Look, the ole “darkness” isn’t personal. It’s not the devil with a pitchfork out to get you or take you down. It exists for ONE purpose, to make you stronger. If everything is happening EXACTLY the way it’s supposed to, then you can embrace it easier because you didn’t cause it. Things happen for a reason and usually, we have no clue what that reason is.

Work these nine steps above, in one form or another I’ve seen people get well and get on with their lives doing this time and again.

What has been useful for you? Feel free to share with everyone in the comments area below or reach out to me at Info@NoelMcDermott.net

As always, I’m here Working for your Peace of Mind.

~Noel McDermott

2 Comments

  1. I will have a go at turning all my negatives into positives. I know there is no time limit on how long you can grieve and I am near to 60 than 40. I am on fixed Benifits, a widow, I am my mum’s full carer and when anything happens to her I will be homeless with nowhere to go.

    • Hi Karen, thanks for taking the time to comment. You have some genuine real world difficulties. They are not the sort of things you can easily divest yourself of. When in that situation, where we have little room for maneuver, we only have the option of how we frame the experience. When we can reframe in a way that is less negative we can often see more opportunities in the threats. And we are less likely to experience debilitating levels of depression and anxiety. I wish you all the best. Noel

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